Exhausted!

This morning I repeated Friday's workout...same timing, same distance. I worked a 13 plus hour shift. I am pooped. Time for bed.

Half Day

Morning weigh-in: 141.0

I had the first part of the day off. My husband and I went to Lowes and Home Depot to look at outdoor fans for our porch. We didn't have any luck finding one we liked. Tomorrow morning we will look at a few other stores in town. Its difficult deciding on one when you don't have any furniture yet.

I just did a 33 minute workout in 97 degree humid weather. It is a miracle I am alive. Today I covered 2.8 miles. Here's the breakdown:
5 min brisk walk warmup
1 min walk, 3 min run for 5 cycles
8 min cool-down walk (would have been 5 min but I had to get back to the apartment)

I'm off to shower and get ready for work. 2-9 shift will be a pleasant change.

So far today I ate a bowl of Fiber One cereal, the original one...not the new fancy flavors. My hubby calls it "goat pellets" and sometimes "rabbit food"...it really looks like something you find at a petting zoo.

Starting to Run

Ugh, I've had a bad few days. Bloating, working and not having time to make small meals. I weighed in at 142.1 this morning. I decided last night that I would start a running program. I was inspired my my wedding-weekend twin, Devon, from All Things King and my co-worker, who runs 5Ks regularly with his wife.

I am not quite ready for the Running for Weight Loss program that Devon is doing but I think I will be there in a few weeks.

This morning I spend 30 minutes outdoors doing fasting cardio and covered 2.4 miles. Warning: This was my first semi-real workout in a while. I am out of shape. Here's the breakup:
5 min brisk walk warmup
2 min run, 1 min walk for 6 cycles
4 min walk cooldown

I feel like I got a pretty good workout (pathetic huh?). Now off to a 12 hour shift. I will eat well ALL day! I will be 139 by July 4th!

Amber Elizabeth

I was just looking at Oxygen Magazine's website and I saw what I consider to be the perfect body. Fit, lean, muscular but still feminine. This girl has it all. If I looked like this, I think I would walk around wearing this on a daily basis (well, at least around the house). Check out the hamstring-butt definition:

Source

Tuesday, June 16th

Morning weigh-in: 141.4. Probably normal fluctuation. I was pretty good yesterday. I probably shouldn't have had the 6 bites of chocolate late last night but otherwise I was good. I stayed up so late last night working on Thank You cards again. The good news is I think I only have about 18 more to write! Here is a pic of our card (I weighed between 132 and 135 that day. I was fluctuating all week and didn't weigh myself the day of so I am not sure): I really need to start exercising! I know that if I worked out for a week I would drop two pounds in a snap. I guess I will get a good workout cleaning the house all day again. This is what I am up against. Only it doesn't look like this. There is so much dirt and mildew around the pool that I swept and scrubbed it for hours the other day without too much improvement. Its gonna need at least 10 more hours of work and a miracle before it looks like this again:

Monday, June 15th

Morning weigh-in: 141.3.

Yesterday was definaley a repeat of Saturday. I pretty much ate the same thing all day because I spent the day cleaning the house again. My dad and I changed all the locks and handles that lead outdoors. I can't wait to save up some money in order to change all the indoor handles. I can't believe how expensive those things are.

Today my newlywed friend Nicole is coming back from her honeymoon. I can't wait to hear about Hawaii!

Off to 12 hour shift . =(

Feeling Good

Morning weigh-in: 141.7. Good, I knew I was holding on to some binge weight. To me, when I am eating crappy for a week or two in a row I get bloated and heavy...when I return to normal eating, I always lose a pound or two or three the first week.

Yesterday I ate ok. Not the healthiest stuff in the world but normal portions. I had a huge bowl of Kashi cereal in the morning. Lunch: slice of white bread, 5 pieces of cheese (some mozzerella and some cheddar), 2 slices of purchutto, 2 slices of tomato, a hardboiled egg, and grapes, Snack: 2 amazing cookies, OJ, Dinner: large bowl of Kashi cereal, few peanuts, some M&Ms.

I am spending the day cleaning the new house once again. My dad is coming back up and we are changing all of locks. Hopefully some serious cleaning will get done.

Day After Closing

Morning weigh-in: 142.8. This would have been lower if I didn't insist on eating at 2am. I stayed up really late to clean and write some wedding thank you cards. I got pretty hungry and ate a small bowl of cereal, a few nuts and 2 slices of bread with a veggie spread. What a moron. At least I was good all day up until then.

We closed yesterday and it went smoothly! Frankie carried my over the threshold and we went to Home Depot only to spend over $800 on a garbage disposal, new locks and new door knobs. The sad part is that we only bought 6 locks and 6 door knobs. We don't need any more locks but if we want to match the knobs on the entire house, including closets, we will need 14 more.

Today my parents and Frankie's mom are coming to help us clean. The house is a mess and we are lucky they are coming.

I got a little more motivation from looking through some old pics. I saw one of me and Frankie from college. The pic was taken on the night of our first kiss. It made me think back on those butterfly emotions and just how much I wanted to look for him back then. Makes you realize how your efforts can diminish through the years if you aren't careful.

Closing Day!

Morning weigh-in: 143.5. Double ugh.

Last night I had a horrible nightmare. Frankie and I were at an amazing resort with pretty much everyone we knew. Everyone was laying out at the pool, playing in the water and having the best time. All of his friends brought hot girls that looked amazing in their bikinis. I, on the other hand, was watching from a window. I was wearing men's gym shorts, a huge baggy t-shirt, had greasy hair and was about 10 pounds heavier. I had this horrific acne on my forehead. I was just there watching, wishing I had prepared, wishing I had worked hard on my body and wishing I was having a good time with all of them. I was embarrassed for even my husband to see me, jealous that he was wishing I looked like the other girls and extremely depressed. It felt so real.

I woke up and did 4 laps around my complex=2.8 miles. Mostly walking. I felt like I weighed 2 tons. My thighs felt swollen and huge. I was tired, I didn't have any energy. The only thing I had was motivation.

We are scheduled to close at 2pm today. We'll see if it happens. Closing already got pushed back from 10:30am to 2. I guess the bank didn't turn some documents in on time. We are waiting for a phone call to get the final closing amount so that we can go to the bank and get a check. Crazy. We don't even know how much this will cost. I'll let you know how it goes.

Confession

I feel like I have let myself down. I haven't been focused. It is so easy to forget your goals when you have so much going on around you. I have been eating without reservation lately. My workouts haven't been hard enough, long enough or consistent. I have gained a significant about of weight in the last 2 1/2 months and I feel like I am not myself anymore. I let all my hard work go down the drain. I am no longer excited to get dressed up, go out or even think about sporting a bikini.

I am admitting to this only because I am ready to make a change again. I wanna see the fat shed off of my body. I wanna flex my muscles again. I wanna feel like running 2 miles is easy.

This battle is 70% mental and 30% physical. I am gonna get out of it. I had a binge yesterday so I know I will weight a pound or more less tomorrow but my morning weigh-in was 143.8. Ugh, that was so hard to type.

Slacking

Wow, I haven't blogged in a while! Well, Since my last blog I have worked every single day. Wed (12hrs), Thurs (10hrs), Fri (14 hrs), Sat (10 hrs), Sun (7 hrs), Mon (12 hrs)...so thats my excuse!

Well, I am proud to say that I ran before work all but 2 days. I just wish I had more time to workout. I've also been good about eating healthy. My diet right now is about a 7 out of 10.

Everything is on track with the house so far. We are still scheduled to close on June 12th! We had some drama with our morgage broker last week. He never locked us in when the rates were low and tried to bring our interest rate up a whole percentage point. Luckily my REA is a tough cookie. He locked us in at our original rate today!

Nicole's wedding is right around the corner! I'll post pics as soon as I get some!